@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day
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@leechee420: One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I'm going to visit.
@Mr_Kapowski: [magician rolls over in bed] "Last night was amazing" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]
@Tom_Vom: It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching but it turned out to be 1,000 bees on a regular bicycle.