@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day
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@JacknArisdad: You wouldn't believe me after reading my TL but my 1st language actually is English
@ehdannyboy: I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds.
@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
@mommy_cusses: *takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?