@mejustbeth: Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question.

@JasonLastname: If I die before I wake, I pray the lord has ice cream cake.

@farleftcoast: Grapes for breakfast it is! Beautiful, fermented, aged, liquified grapes.

@TheTweetOfGod: Stalk your awful ex on Twitter, Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll. 'Tis the season to be bitter. Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll.

@tastefactory: Try to imagine pugs living in the wild, just roaming in the forest in packs.