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@RandomlyMJ: *hits on a guy*
He's bleeding. I think I'm doing this wrong.
@topaz_kell: If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message.
Put the message in a bottle.
Hit them over the head with the bottle.
@Ty_Schutz: I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, "Not overly racist."
@kyry5: The Constitution has barely been altered in 200 years, but my $300 textbook is worth $0.82 bc they came out with a new edition mid-semester.
@daviddeweil: If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision.
@BaldyLockzz: * tries to spread peanut butter *
Peanut Butter: I have a boyfriend