@jdforshort: "Hitting it hard as shit" and "tickling the hole" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today
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@TheBoydP: I had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal for the first time in a long time last weekend. The roof of my mouth should be healed in a few days.
@OctopusCaveman: Some people have this weird super power where they smell like their shampoo for hours after showering.
@BarryVonAwesome: Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*
@tastefactory: ME: Actually, her name is not Khaleesi. That's her Dothraki title. Her name is Daenerys Targaryen. GUY ON SUBWAY: I didn't say anything