@jdforshort: "Hitting it hard as shit" and "tickling the hole" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today
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@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
@WalkingOutside: I like to pack a healthy lunch for work so that by 3 p.m. I'm ready to do unspeakable things for a piece of chocolate.
@SarcasticAlly12: People say "life's a journey, not a destination," because the destination is death. The journey sucks too. Anyway, to the bride and groom!
@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.