@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
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@TabooBooSF: My husband suggested I tone down the Botox and just age gracefully. And I laughed and laughed. But didn't scowl. Cuz Botox.
@dongfuture: *stops walking* Wait, I think there’s a stone in my shoe *takes off shoe, shakes it upside down* *Mick Jagger hits the ground with a thud*
@OneFunnyMummy: Dance like no one's watching & cook like someone else is cleaning up that shit.
@ThisOneSayz: Auto correct changed "absence" to "absinthe" and now my kid's school won't let me be on the PTA.