@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zachreinert03: My friend said a baby crying is the best form of birth control but there was a baby bawling next door all night & my girlfriend got pregnant
@NoogsCorner: After drinking that much, I just hope whatever I bring back home is some sort of human.
@kwirkyKerri: Sex on the beach means sand everywhere. You just do not want extreme exfoliation in some areas.
@WakeVII: Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'(