@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
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@duplicitron: Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.
@ErrenMichaels: Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away for a while.
@ImHopel3ss: Somewhere, someplace, there's a hole in the world & inside it there's a bunch of gremlins hoarding the 50,000 lighters I can't find.
@GreenSmoke_: My girlfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate. Now I have two girlfriends.