@bourgeoisalien: Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome.
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@copymama: Wanna know what it’s like to have kids? Picture one of those automatic ball-pitching machines, but instead of balls, it’s questions. And it never shuts off.
@EBenita0517: When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that.