@bourgeoisalien: Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome.
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@thebeckyard: Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors.
@imshitimsorry: lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies
@gingerfaced: What do you mean you were really drunk? I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.
@NoogsCorner: Superman's only weakness is the extremely rare Kryptonite that all his enemies have.