@BoozieEyedJoe: Holy shit you guys. Twitter works outside too.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it.
@DadandBuried: I'm so sick of everyone asking if I *really* hate my kids. They're just jokes, people. Annoying, inconvenient jokes who are ruining my life.
@s_cLaN07: My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.