@slimmy_shady: Homeless man asked me if I could 'spare some change'. I told him 'change comes from within'. Long story short, I'm missing a kidney.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: I think we need to break up Her: Now is not a good time Me: Okay *we ride the rollercoaster in silence*
@Wine_Honey1: These people act like they're never seen a naked store mannequin, holding a wine glass, sitting on someone's front porch before.
@KimmyMonte: [sees my husband cry as i walk down the aisle at our wedding] hey, this priest bothering you?