@UNTRESOR: Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars.
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@archerenemy: I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them...
@mrtruthandsoul: *breaks out of prison *hunted by police for weeks *crawls thru 22 miles of mud to your house* Me: <taps on your window> DID YOU GET MY TEXT?
@OldFolkProblms: Back in my day, we didn't have apps to tell everyone where we were all the time We had to actually work for it if we wanted to get murdered