@UNTRESOR: Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars.
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@themorris23: *Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL
@PaperWash: Remember kids, those light up sneakers won't seem so cool when wolves are chasing you through the woods at night.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: People named Thomas, your nickname isn't "Thom" it's Tom. "Thom" thounds sthupid and prethenthiuos.
@SamuelHLowe: That awkward moment when someone is washing dishes and you slowly put your glass in the sink.