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@DanMentos: "Honey did you put a dead rattlesnake in my boot?"
Oh it died?
@ibid78: Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder.
@brianbowman73: There's a doctor here to see you.
No, I think it's a non time traveling one.
@rockymomax: TRAINER: you know what they say
ME: no pain! lo mein!
TRAINER: it's "no gain"
ME: (eating Chinese food) i like this better
@dubstep4dads: [twirling my bra above my head like a helicopter and it gets stuck on the ceiling fan, im launched thru window into neighbors yard]
@EndhooS: I ate 4 lunch ladies before someone explained that's not what they're for.