@KevinBuffalo: Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you.
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@UncleDuke1969: [office] Me: Happy Black Friday! Latisha: … Me: I made a cake! Latisha: … Me: … Latisha: … Me: … Latisha: … Me: It’s chocolate.
@Tmoney68: I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I'm just going to go ahead & judge you.
@VikeeysSecret: Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors.
@SaraMansford: Screw you, Burger King, if you really wanted me to have it "MY way" you'd have added alcohol to your menu.