@superdadatron: Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
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@QwertyJones3: [Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie.
@batkaren: I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries
@professorkiosk: Nirvana, according to most Buddhists I've spoken to, is quite literally the best alternative rock band to have ever existed.
@SirFlushaLot: I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes