@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first
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@NeinQuarterly: New York: The city that never sleeps. Berlin: The city that never sleeps until Sunday. Paris: The city that never sleeps alone.
@lawblob: pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them
@bobvulfov: ME: why is my son failing TEACHER: just because u gave him that name doesnt mean he'll be intelligent ME: [gasping] cover ur ears Smartboy
@Poutymcgee: *watches you carefully arrange the piles of paperwork on your desk *waits for you to finish *sets fan to "oscillate"