@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? SUPER DANCE OFF?? Cop: OH YEAH OH YEAH? Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest. oh no
@pizzasauceboss: *wakes up early* *goes for morning jog* *calls wife to pick him up because he's made a terrible mistake*
@BrandonBrown522: My cow Rosie won 3 blue ribbons at last year's 4H show so I have pretty high hopes for her at this year's chili cook off.
@rickolantern: My neighbor told me he childproofed his house. And the very next day his wife came home with a newborn. Worst. Childproofer. Ever.