@JediGigi: Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead.
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@tiReynard: We all wear masks. I'm about to trade in my 'polite coworker' mask for my 'dude you don't want to meet in a dark alley' mask In 3...2...1
@Vodkantots: I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young.
@joejwest: ME: [bumps man] MAN: [spills coffee] Say sorry ME: No MAN: Then I'll see you in court ME: [remembers I own a camouflage suit] You won't
@JP_theAntiHero: Dude turned from the ATM and tripped sending about eight 20s flying into my face. I teared up a little. I get strippers, I get it.