@thenatewolf: Hot lady mouse looking for good time. Any mouse will do boy mouse or girl mouse. Groups preferred. Meet in woods AT NIGHT. Will be a hoot.
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@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.
@AimeeHelene1: *goes in fridge; makes sandwich* *grabs beer* *sits on couch; turns on TV* Him: Ma'am, this is an open house Me: I need the full experience
@MartaEffing: I got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, but I was just laughing hysterically at the cost of organic vegetables.
@rachelle_mandik: -Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you? -Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus.