@Laser_Cat: Hot, single, raccoons in your area want to rummage through your garbage.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@samfromks: My wife has been helping my neighbor hook up his VCR for 3 hours now. Starting to get suspicious... What kind of monster still has a VCR?
@TheSharona06: I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so
@SirEviscerate: ME: wash the peanut butter off this knife DISHWASHER: imma forge that peanut butter into an unbreakable rock on that knife ME: please no
@envydatropic: My neighbors are having a terrible fight in the front yard. I mean hanging Christmas lights. Same.