@ItsAndyRyan: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON'T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY
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@WheelTod: That awkward moment when you lazily follow someone cos of 1 funny joke, then realize all the rest of their stuff is KKK recruitment material
@jus4golf: 15 just texted me that she was on her period and needed a chocolate bar. How absorbent could a chocolate bar even be?!
@TheAlexNevil: Newton taught us that a body at rest will remain at rest, a body in motion will remain in motion, and that figs taste good in cookies.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Taken Nemo] *Clam phone rings* Marliam Neeson: I have a particular set of gills. I don't know who you are, but I will find Nemo.