@LinajkReturns: Hottest day ever recorded in November and my neighbor is already installing Christmas lights. So don't send me a fruitcake. Already got one.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked. So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head.
@TheCatWhisprer: No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word.
@thenoahkinsey: I am AWFUL at picking up if a woman is into me. Even if one said, "I want to do you." I'd respond, "What do you mean? Like an impression?"
@lyric_intent: Peoples whose sliding closet doors never come off their tracks, what do you do with the rest of your dark magic?