@ChipKellysBalls: House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial
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@MariyaAlexander: If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?
@rebeccaheckyea: 2 cats smoke catnip and lay around, discussing Plato's Allegory of the Cave. "What if the laser pointer is just a projection?"
@donni: DEFENSE: Your Honor, will you allow my client to escape? JUDGE: I'll allow it PROSECUTOR: Aw WTF JUDGE: Let's see where he goes with this
@LinajkReturns: Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans? Choosing dog food is hard.