@ChipKellysBalls: House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial
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@ProudFFAalumni: Instead of accusing me of eating your leftover pie, ask yourself why you had any left to begin with, quitter *said thru a mouthful of pie*
@popcorn_dog: [Dark room] **taco crunch** Employee [shines flashlight at me]: Sir you cannot eat in the planetarium **slow taco crunch**
@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.