@VerbsRProudest: How Am I Doing? I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8
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@donni: DEFENSE: Your Honor, will you allow my client to escape? JUDGE: I'll allow it PROSECUTOR: Aw WTF JUDGE: Let's see where he goes with this
@rodtopia: I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I'm so glad I don't drink anymore.
@CrazyIdiot6: Friends- What did you get for your birthday? Her- He went to Jared Friends- You're engaged!!! Her- No Jared is our weed dealer
@MarfSalvador: [Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats