@PinkCamoTO: How can anyone focus on world peace when we can't even get everyone to use the same date format?
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@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM
@jwoodham: Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: No matter how adorable you think your young son is, it's best you not refer to him as a "lady killer", it might end up being true.