@sharky54301: How can you go broke making Twinkies when two states just legalized marijuana?
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@ilovepie84: This Teenage girl gave me attitude today so I called her the "Fattest Skinny person I have ever seen" that should confuse her for a while.
@garrettbarry70: So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don't taste any different.
@joeljeffrey: [At job interview] Interviewer: Do you have a police record? Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette *hires me instantly