@curlycomedy: How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?
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@_ParkerH: hate when people ask if ur on drugs/drunk when ur just having fun like no some of us have the natural personality of a crackhead sorry
@HatfieldAnne: I will not buy ornamental gourds this year! I WILL NOT BUY GOURDS! *buys all the gourds (and a hay bale)
@upsidedowntrash: [Shark Tank] Me: [holding tiny top] It's called Blouses For Mouses™ CEO: The plural of mouse is mice. M: Ok, Blice for Mice™ then whatever
@Sean_Burgundy_: Women would be better serial killers if they didn't smile when people mention someone's been missing