@KentWGraham: How come I need a complex, indecipherable password to get on Twitter but only a 4-digit number to remove all my money from an ATM?
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@Jandalize: Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours.
@FeelingEuphoric: PRINCE: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! RAPUNZEL: (to hair) you're really sweet but I think we should just be friends
@iamspacegirl: MY DATE WHO IS A SQUID: What movie should we see? ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*
@christinaloca: How can a murderer return to the scene of the crime? I don’t even go to the same McDonald’s too soon after I’ve eaten there.