@RobotThomas: How come Yoko Ono didn't marry someone from Nickleback instead?
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@silvertongue37: My ex wife recently told me I run away from my problems. Apparently not far enough.
@GrrrRach: How the hell wizards don't set fire to themselves, I'll never understand; attempting to make potions and stuff, with those dangly sleeves.
@GrantTanaka: Sometimes I wonder if the ghost in my house thinks he's being haunted by some angry, naked, drunk guy.
@HeyZeus666: My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.