@MaryKoCo: "How crazy is your ex? Crazy like my triceps?" "How sick is your mother? Sick like my triceps?"
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@tastefactory: INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]
@SortaBad: Glad my car insurance company requires a 10 character password to log-in. Wouldn't want someone to hack in and...pay my insurance bill
@Disalmanac: Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.