@Brentweets: How dare you incinerate that I don't know big words.
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@jakob_huber: *meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* "What's this?" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime
@wendchymes: Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!
@juliussharpe: People with Bluetooth headsets always look like the least important people you could possibly call.