@omgthatspunny: How did I get out of Iraq? Iran.
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@mstluvstrinkets: I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse.
@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
@SuperJuanderer: Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep