@omgthatspunny: How did I get out of Iraq? Iran.
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@IanKarmel: Arby's also has a secret menu. If you order a "phone book" they bring you a phone book and you can find any other place to eat.
@AlexvanBeek: [10mins from now] ..& just like that North Korea was removed from history & got nuked by every country on Earth for bringing down Twitter..
@VerifiedDrunk: If God wanted to impress me with his 'miracles' he would've impregnated Joesph, not a poor unwed teenage girl. That shit happens every day.