@omgthatspunny: How did I get out of Iraq? Iran.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LolaFaglana: I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say "Mommy steals credit cards" when they're in a checkout line.
@prontopup: "OMG IT'S RAINING A LITTLE BIT AND NOW I'VE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING I'VE EVER KNOWN!!!" - Drivers, apparently.
@WhatevaConc: No Brett, I didn't even read that email. I'm not speaking to you because I overheard your Starbucks order this morning.