@leechee420: How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?
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@IAmMikeFeeney: The first thing I'm going to do when I'm rich is buy an airline flight for everyone who works at the DMV and then delay the flight forever.
@DirtMcTurd: I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
@Underchilde: You can tell your life sucks when you run into traffic and the cars go around you.