@thesulk: How do male civil unions not end with the phrase "I dude"?
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@markleggett: Whenever a woman tells me that she just wants to have a good time and sleep with me, I say "You can only pick one."
@TheTweetOfGod: When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now.
@P1ssed_K1d: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
@AGStr8upNinja: I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.