@spicy_peen: How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
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@CoopSoSarc: I saw this lady vogueing alone so I felt bad and started dancing with her. Anyone know sign language for 'Im sorry'?
@billcheek26: I'm taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can't lose them there, I'll try the mall again.
@Darlainky: Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*
@Rrrrnessa: Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me.