@spicy_peen: How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
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@Try2StopME: I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.
@TheSharona06: Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis
@TheTweetOfGod: Traditional marriage was between a boy's parents and a girl's parents. And maybe some cattle.
@iGreenMonk: She: We are having my mother For dinner tonight? Me: But darling i'm a vegetarian. . how can i eat her?