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@protolalia: How do you call a meerkat?
@bessbell: Would u watch a movie about a teenage boy who screams "I wish I was dead," but God hears "Deb," so he turns into his 50-yr old neighbor Deb?
@MouVanLee: Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fact: If you get pulled over, as the cop is walking up to you, place an aluminum foil hat on your head and you disappear from his vision.
@TimJohnish: "I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today." -Cats
@wolfpupy: clutches my newly bought loaf of bread nervously as i walk past the duck pond