@SamuelHLowe: How do you say "No, I'm full" in Grandmother?
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@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Spider-Man is my favorite superhero whose name is made up of 2 things that scare the shit out of me.
@KevinBuffalo: I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese's pieces
@Elizasoul80: Person I tried to rob describing me to the police: "long hair, wearing pajamas, honestly she didn't seem very committed to it."