@pjux: "How do you speak such good English?" "I dunno 200 years of colonialism and eurocentric education, how do you know so little history?"
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@meganyyb: Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?
@KateWouldHaveIt: Me: <throws caution to the wind> Also Me: <panics and gathers up as many pieces of caution as possible before they scatter>
@discoken: I wrote "Clarence sale" instead of "clearance sale" and now there are angry old ladies here looking for a husband.
@Momtoteens: Dear Grocery Bagger, Please don't put dryer sheets and bread in the same bag. My kids don't like peanut butter & Spring Meadow sandwiches.