@heyliv_: How do you spell "sawss" as in "spaghetti sawss" ?
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@david8hughes: Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: I'm just gonna nap for an hour then
@AmishPornStar1: "Awwww, that is so sweet! I think you're outstanding too!" me, to the collection agency
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.
@TheCatWhisprer: I hate how websites force you to prove you’re not a robot by making you solve some puzzle only a robot could solve.