@Tommytoughstuff: "How does Dracula get his hair so perfect without a mirror? Oh questions about the job? No I'm good."
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@Harbinger_one: Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees.
@blainecapatch: whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: ON THE INTERNET : Ughh.. I hate people so much.. APPLYING FOR JOB : I love working with people and I am very sociable
@JohnFugelsang: I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her.