@causticbob: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious. That Israeli how he does it.
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@thatcarlygirl: New exercise regimen: I can only sit down when my toddler does. So far I've lost 17,000 pounds.
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.
@weinerdog4life: I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner