@omgthatspunny: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
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@AtticusFinch79: <gets pulled over> Officer- What's making all that noise in your trunk? Me- My feelings. I'm trying to dispose of them properly.
@SoldHerSoul: Offering the floral arrangement as a meal to the gluten free, lactose intolerant, allergy ridden vegetarian is apparently not ok.
@AaronFullerton: "Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."