@UncleDuke1969: Brain: You've got ONE shot at this.
Me: Ready.
Brain: Go talk to her.
"YOUR HAIR IS THE COLOR OF HONEY CAN I TASTE IT?!?"
Brain: Magical!
@Rlpihl: I'm not Madagascar, I'm just disappointedgascar
@bobbiejo448: Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, "Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."
@AphroditeAfter5: No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP
@squirrel74wkgn: [at store]
Salesperson: May I help you?
Me: Yes, I need something really nice that my wife can exchange next week
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