@causticbob: how long have you had this for?
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@jessokfine: Amazing that the townspeople didn't like Belle what with her waking up every day and calling them a bunch of simple idiots
@Jade_VK: [campfire] ME: They say these trees are over 200 years old. Man, if trees could talk... TREE: Please stop burning my flesh to cook hot dogs.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: What happened? Me: A Smart Car hit one of those little Fiats. Cop: Can you describe the accident. Me: Adorable?
@darkmatter_wimp: I'm on a new diet where all I eat is soup on weekdays. It's called: Miso Hungry.