@the_blacklisted: How many coffees before I stop looking for shirts in my refrigerator
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@saucy_peaches: Why are you so pissed? You asked me what turns me on and all I said was you not talking...
@Quartzjixler: I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars.
@OhReallyRach: If cupids didnt have wings, theyd just be fat little baby assassins with crossbows.
@KayRants: If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding.