@5exyunchained: How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
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@GensPlace: I began writing full time 20 years ago. I've sold lots - my tv, my car, my jewellery...
@Home_Halfway: ME: Hey congrats, I hear you're pregnant CLIENT: Yes, thank you! ME: *trying to think of a good power move* Many species eat their young
@LeBearGirdle: Wife: what are you watching? Me: See II Wife: don't you mean Saw II? Me: not till it's over
@samalmightysam: ''Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.'' -Jesus flirting in a bar