@5exyunchained: How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
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@StoferComic: My neighbor just planed an orange tree. I told him, "That's a strange color for a tree."
@DanMentos: "I got expelled" How? "I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard" Ok that's dumb but- "So my prof told me to go back up there…" Oh no "and rub 1 out"
@Dorkstress: Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!
@FattMernandez: Toby Keith playing a men-only concert in Saudi Arabia is historic. It's the 1st time being a woman in Saudi Arabia is a benefit.