@UnFitz: "How many fingers do I have up?"
- a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny
@ChaseMit: I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
@MarfSalvador: [Boiling in a pot]
Boy lobster: AAAAGGGGHHH!!
Girl lobster: I'm cold
@MikeCanRant: what idiot called it a fly swatter and not a splatula?
@bea_ker: [circus school]
"So to tame the lion, you have this whip..."
What if the lion's too close?
[picking up tiny stool] "we've thought of that"
@daemonic3: Based on my family's hatred for vegetables and always throwing them in the garbage, I hope I'm never in a coma.