@UnFitz: "How many fingers do I have up?"
- a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny
@TheTweetOfGod: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" To even out the good things that happen to bad people.
@Tinkerbell_: If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it.
Not happy but so be it.
@thejessbess: Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a movie is to not steal black girls' cheer routines.
@boring_as_heck: Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won’t know what she is saying*
ME: [to the kids] I don’t know either.