@DaddyJew: How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon player with my car?
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@RidiculousSheri: [on a date] *don't let him know you're a bird* Him: I'll drive us. I just had my car cleaned and detailed. Me: *poops all over windshield*
@sofarrsogud: *makes 9 yr old son memorise my phone number in case he gets lost [He gets lost] *I don't answer my phone as I don't recognise the number
@KissabiX: I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma. They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life