@DaddyJew: How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon player with my car?
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@pixelatedboat: Ronald McDonald kills millions of cows and he's the world's most beloved clown, but I butcher one and I "ruined your son's birthday party"?
@mylifesuckers: My kids just connected worlds in Minecraft. So now they can fight in a virtual universe too.
@TheTweetOfGod: With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible.