@Sickayduh: "Ma'am, you had twins. They are fine and your boyfriend Chad named them" - Oh no "This is Debra" - aww I like that "And this is Depanties"

@PAT_E_ROCK: BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl.

@vexroid: To everyone who ever doubted me, all I have to say to you is...lucky guess.

@ashlar36: In Hell, you're surrounded by people saying 'suposably' and 'irregardless.'

@mdob11: You brought me roses? I can't eat this. Get out.