@EmergencyQB: How much do you want to bet that the inventor of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?
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@SoulYodeler: POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird.
@Reverend_Scott: "I'm soooo tired!" [lays down in bed] "I'm soooo comfortable!" Bladder: Sup bro
@walks_on_legs: Throwing burgers around furniture because I have a hunch that termites only eat wood because they have not tried anything tastier.