@Busocco: How much for the horse tornado?
Sir, that's a carousel.
I must have it.
@aveuaskew: Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
@WheelTod: I hate it when people go round quoting the bible. I haven't even read it yet, but somehow folks think it's cool to give key plot points away
@Sarcasmo718: Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home.
@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.
@better_off_dad: 16: 'We should put a flat screen on the wall!'
Wife: 'I really don't like mounting things.'
Me: *mumbles 'No shit.'
W: 'What was that??'