@crunchenhanced: How much weed is the appropriate amount to give as a gift at a baby shower?
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@anylaurie16: 7 yo son asked how Grandpa got lung cancer. I said, "Well, he quit a long time ago, but for many many years, Grandpa played Minecraft."
@lisaxy424: My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her "golden shower" so goodnight.
@cluedont: You don't fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will.