@Half_Mex75: How the hell is the director of the CIA unable to hide an affair?
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@MatCro: [meeting] DIRECTOR: I want amazing CGI PRODUCER: Yes! D: A huge cast P: Agreed! D: Realistic family photos P: We don't have the budget
@Reverend_Scott: Inspirational tweet: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope yours is a freight train.
@ArfMeasures: ME [trying to convince her I care] I'm so angry the big bed cushions haven't arrived WIFE: Throw pillows M: I'm that angry Karen, I might do
@ipalatsky: As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince. It's my husband's dream now.