@TinaMav: How to kill a spider: get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.
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@theshamingofjay: Co-worker: Did you see that play in the Super Bowl? Worst decision ever. Me: Really? Aren't you married?
@KrunkedRobot: I just filled up my gas tank and went to a movie and bought a large soda and popcorn, I spent roughly 7000 dollars.
@markhoppus: "The concept of romantic love is obsolete in the modern era" I declare loudly to no one in particular as I grab for another dinner roll.