@TinaMav: How to kill a spider: get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.
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@OctopusCavemann: Aladdin dresses a monkey in a little vest and hat and gets a hot girlfriend. I do it and I get “banned from the zoo.”
@Thynebear: *queen points out window* "what's that flashing out the window?" "Lightning, My Queen" *car busts thru window* DID I HEAR LIGHTNING McQUEEN
@jergarl: It's not a real twitter addiction until you look up from your phone and you've missed your exit by 37 states.
@daemonic3: Parents, talk to your kids about drugs. Teach them organic chemistry. Obtain a research grant. Put big pharma out of business together